Metal Kisses
by talullahh
Summary: A story about Bella. Takes place in new moon. After Edward leaves. Before she starts hanging out with Jacob.


**Metal Kisses.  
No owns.**

The sun had sunken down past the horizon, leaving Bella sitting on her bed in the dark. She contemplated turning the lights on but decided against it. Then she would be able to see herself in the mirror, messy hair and tear stained cheeks. It had been three months since he had left Forks. Edward Cullen, the only man whom she could ever love. And he was now gone. He completed her, and without him she was broken. Had a giant gap in her that couldn't be filled. She got snuggled into her covers. It was probably only about 7:00 pm, but she had already done tonight's homework and read ahead and done tomorrows too. And made dinner for her and Charlie so there was nothing more to do. She picked up Romeo and Juliet off her bedside table. Flicked on the light and opened to a random page. It was towards the beginning and her eye caught one of Benvolio's lines. "It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?" Now Romeo's line, "Not having that which makes them short" Fresh tears were rolling down her face now. He was talking about a lost love. She chucked the book somewhere forgotten. She wished he were here, or maybe just Alice. She just needed someone to talk to. She hasn't had a conversation with anyone that lasted longer then hello in forever. She was starting to think her vocal cords had forgotten to speak. She was still lying on her back and realized how uncomfortable she was, but when she turned onto her left side a sharp pain was sent thru her arm. She quickly sat up grasping her left wrist with her other hand. She pushed her sleeve up to her elbow. It had been a few days since the time she dragged her cool shiny lover against her pale white skin. It was already scabbed over and almost beginning to fade. Along with all the other lines dancing along the length of her arm. Going in every direction, in all sized and depths. She was lucky to live in Forks. Where it was always raining and wearing a sweater, jacket or long sleeves was always acceptable. Looking at the faded scars made her sad. Those lines she carefully made and were the only things that made her an ounce less numb, didn't even stick around. She got out of bed and tip toed her way to the bathroom. She didn't want to have any more short forced awkward conversations with Charlie. She came face to face with the bathroom mirror. Her hair was wild and matted. Her pale cheeks were stained with tons of tear streaks. She hated what she was looking back at. She shut her eyes tight. With him she shined and sparkled, just like he did in the sun. And now her skin was so drained of all color. She was whiter then the walls. And her eyes had dark circles around them that would put any thirsty vampire to shame. She never got much sleep because of her nightly nightmares and screaming. Sometimes she could just go to sleep and never wake up. Maybe if she stayed asleep she wouldn't have nightmares, she would have dreams like she used to have for all eternity. She had been staring at the sink, eyes long out of focus. The colors blending before her eyes. She looked up and she blinked. She saw herself in the mirror once again. Fresh tears still building up and flowing out of the corner of her eyes. She reached up and opened up the cabinet, hidden behind the side mirror, and took the silver shining blade out of the corner of it. Silently sobbing she took it and dragged it against her skin. But it wasn't enough, she made another, and another. She kept making little and long line across the length of her arm until the whole things was flooded with fresh cuts. She was already sliding down the wall behind her, feeling extremely light headed. Her vision was blurring and was feeling fazed over. She knew she was fucked if she didn't stop the bleeding. She sheepishly crawled over to the bottom cabinet and got a hand towel and pushed it down hard onto her arm. After a few tries she stood up and stumbled to her room, and found her way under her covers once again. She curled into a ball and sobbed herself to sleep. --- It was about 2:00 am when she woke up screaming. Charlie stopped coming to check on her, because she awoke screaming every night. When she opened her eyes she let out another scream. There he was. Sitting on that rocking chair that he used to claim all the time. She screamed at him in her head. YOU'RE NOT HERE. Tears water falling down her cheeks. She shut her eyes tight, and when she opened them back up he was gone. She couldn't take it any more. She was done. She reached over to her bedside table and tore open the draw that stuck shut most of the time. She took her emergency razor out from under a stack of books and papers. She placed her scared up arm on her lap, looking at the fresh scabs. She brought the blade to her wrist, she sent a raspy whispered to the darkness, "I'll always love you," and dragged it long and deep along the length of her arm. Her other hand shaking and dropped the metal as she drifted into eternal sleep, with a slight smile on her face.

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**Authors note:** Like most high schoolers valentines day makes me depressed and angsty. Hopped you like the story. Reviews would be nice. : D So yeah, have a happy Valentines Day.


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